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| President Barack Obama triple-dog dares Congressional Republicans to impeach. |
By R.U. SYRYOUS
BPI
Correspondent
WASHINGTON (BPI) -- It's already peach
season in Georgia, but impeach season may still be weeks away on Capitol Hill.
Many Republican House of Representatives
members are just itching to start impeachment proceeding against President
Barack Obama but apparently are still waiting for something big that poses as an
at least quasi-valid reason to attempt
to unseat the nation's chief executive.
And Obama says he is about to toss them a
bone.
Sources close to the president said that if
Congress doesn't do something on immigration reform by the end of the summer,
Obama likely will take significant action on his own.
"The president told me that he not only
double-dog dares House Republicans to impeach him, but he's going straight for
the dreaded triple-dog dare and hopes they all get their tongues stuck to a frozen metal pipe," the source said.
The impeachment hornets' nest was kicked over
when House Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio, threatened to sue the president for
alleged abuse of power, a contention that caught real progressives and liberals
by surprise since they don't think Obama has been nearly abusive enough.
Meanwhile, Boehner -- who has only agreed
with the president on those rare occasions when he's had one to few Martinis at
lunch -- said he does not favor impeachment, contending that the process would
likely require the House to cancel far too many vacation days.
A source close to Boehner insisted that the
whole suit threat is really the result of a misunderstanding anyway.
"What the speakers actually said, after
a night out on the town, was that he wanted to "shoo" Obama. You
know, like make him just go away. But when he said it, a bunch of the Tea Party
Republicans assumed he was hung over again and just slurring his words and they
took the "sue Obama" idea and just ran with it like a bunch of
weasels trying to have sex with a football," the source said.
Upset that Boehner is trying to distance
himself from the call for impeachment, Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, said he may try
to unseat the speaker and have himself chosen as the successor.
When he was informed that a senator can't be
speaker of the house, Cruz threw himself on the floor and began holding his
breath, kicking his heels and pounding his fists, but stopped when his face
started turning blue which he feared might cause a group of elderly tourists --
who apparently didn't know who he was and had stopped to watch -- to suspect he was a Democrat.
"See, that's what's wrong with our government,"
the freshman senator said, after clamming down enough to talk. "All these
rules and regulations keep making it impossible for me to do what I want to
do....errr, I mean what the country needs done."
